Three-Week Sobriety Brings Good Things

So, I realized a few years ago that I actually do like alcohol! I never did much experimenting with it growing up other than a little taste-testing at family functions. I guess I just wasn't interested in it. Then, like so many, I went to college, tried it, and realized that it was fun! So I've been having a lot of "fun" since then, some may say too much. I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic but I have noticed that it was becoming maybe a bigger part in my life than I wanted it to be. Social activities seem to revolve around drinking. It's a reason to get together, if I want to see live music, it's usually in a bar, and after a long night of dealing with demanding customers, it's nice to sit down and have a free beer...So what happens when I take the drinking out of my life? Well, I did just that for three weeks. I did it partially to help a friend that also gave it up (it's easier to do when you have moral support!), but I mostly did it to prove things to myself. As a friend of mine said, "It's all mental." It's a habit-the need to have a glass in your hand when at a bar or even just the physical act of drinking something, it's kind of natural. That's what people do when you "go out." It was an interesting experiment to do to myself. I still did my usual routine for the most part, went for beer(but didn't drink it) and live music on Tuesdays to see friends and relax. It was very hard to not drink there. The first week it almost made me crabby or uncomfortable, but I did everything else I normally did there and I still had a good time. It wasn't like going to a party before I was twenty-one and wanted to drink because secretly I wanted to fit in and be more social. Now it was a choice not to do it. And know what's interesting? I kind of got a buzz or high from not doing it in those situations because it was a different feeling I wasn't used to, much like when you first start drinking in those situations and you feel different. Some really great life-changing things happened in that three week period too. The biggest thing I can think of is I started to bring my trumpet to jams! I have some friends that get together and play music. Most of it is just improv, making it up on the spot, starting with a key, a progression, and just seeing what happens, and music is created! A lot of which will never be heard ever again because it was just "in the moment." I'm still fascinated by it, the connection that people have through music. So yeah, I started playing my trumpet sometimes when we'd jam. I wasn't even kinda drunk and thought "Well, if this doesn't go well, I can just blame it on that I have been drinking." Nope, I went in and thought, "This is me and this is what I want to say through my trumpet or try to say or try to find what I want to try to say!" And it was amazing! I'm not saying that it was a flawless performance, because it definitely wasn't, but I did it! I overcame my expectations for myself and I actaully tried it. You have to start somewhere, right? Before we went in, my boyfriend told me that they need to hear those mistakes and that I needed to at least try. I was comforting to know that mistakes are okay. Are mistakes even mistakes? Wow, I could really go off on a tangent (like I already have!). Basically, it comes back to that I learned a lot about myself in those few weeks. I learned that I don't need alcohol to 'have fun' or 'fit in' or even just to unwind, there are a million other ways to do that. I don't need it to blame my mistakes on, I can claim those. I don't need it to be brave and step out of my comfort zone, that's a high in itself. All I need is me, as cheesy as that sounds. So, am I never going to drink again? Of course I will drink again silly! But I know now that I can make it without it. I can do anything if I just set my mind to it.